We are crazy book people. I love so many children's books I could never name them all. We have books all over the house--on shelves in every room, stacked on tabletops and in little piles by all the beds. We have our basket of winter/holiday books out in the living room right now and always look at books with Huck as a way to learn about and digest whatever season, holiday or event is going on at the time.
But, there are a few books that just drive me or Stephen up the freakin' wall. Since many blogs tend to write about favorites, I thought I'd write about the ones we think are absolutely ridiculous.
1. We're Going on a Bear Hunt
- This book should be subtitled, The Dumbest Family in America.
Armed with a stick and with 3 small children in tow, they go looking for a bear in his cave. The parents drag their kids into a cold river and lead them into a raging snowstorm, most of them wearing canvas sneakers and the baby still in his jammies. Then they all venture into a dark cave by the sea with the tide coming in. When their dog finds the bear in the cave, what do they do? They turn their backs on it and run! Dragging the kids behind them. We live in bear country. And though Huck loves this book it strikes us as an almost dangerous example of wild animal awareness.
2. Knuffle Bunny
I actually like this book but Stephen thinks it perpetuates the clueless father stereotype. He likes to add an addendum when he's reading it to Huck.
"Now Huck, not all daddies are this stupid. Just this one. Your daddy would never, ever forget your Guy-Guy (French pronunciation). But let's do remember that the daddy in this book is off doing the laundry with the baby while the mommy stays home doing who knows what. Probably watching Dr. Phil."
3. Good Dog, Carl
So, let me get this straight, the mom goes to run errands and leaves the baby with a Rottweiler? Good plan. I think there should be a sequel to this book called Bad Mommy, Joyce where CPS shows up, takes the stick of butter out of the kid's hand and finds a good home for the little fella.
4. Love You Forever
I know, another classic that I just don't get. When I see this book, I read the title in my head like it's a 70's stalker, horror film -- "I'll love you...FOREVER." It just creeps me out. The woman clearly has boundary issues. Please tell me he's not still nursing. I wonder what the dude's wife thinks of this set up?
5. Max's Snowsuit
Like it isn't hard enough to get them in their snow gear already? Now I have a cute book about a cartoon character who goes through the whole snowsuit shuffle then takes it all off just to be a pain in the ass? What a fun game. I can't wait.
6. Goodnight Moon
- Wait now, before anyone flips out at the sacrilege of including this book on my dumbest books list, I really only dislike one page.
I've read Margaret Wise Brown's other books and I admit, she's pretty good. But let's face it, this page is just lazy writing. Sure, I've been tempted to just write in "Blah, blah, blah" for character dialog when I can't think of anything, but it just doesn't cut it with readers. I can imagine her sitting at her typewriter, a little board, totally tapped out for rhymes, but damnit, she knows she has to wrap up that bowl of mush! The woman was ready to be done with that little bunny and cash her check already and so we have "Goodnight Nobody." I roll my eyes every time I read it.
I'd probably have a bigger list if I had the energy to go upstairs and look under the chair in Huck's room--that's where Stephen stashes the undesirables during story time when Huck's not looking. Whatever it takes to get by, right? Tell me we're not the only ones.