The Toby Show

Do you have a Surprise Box?

If you aren't already doing this, you must start.  

Find a box, or a bin, or a crate, or a tub.  And begin filling it with little things--books, art projects, special treats, a DVD, Brain Quests, puzzles, small toys, craft project kits and art supplies.  Keep an eye out for good sales or pick things up at rummage sales and thrift stores.   I also stash some of the items sent by Huck's Jazz and Pop.  I occasionally buy a book for Huck and decide it's really too old for him right then.  It all goes in the bin.

Ours currently holds the first 4 Magic Tree House Books , some Pop Rocks and a Take-Along Watercolor Set along with assorted other things.  I've also got The Little Traveler's British Isles DVD waiting in the wings.

I missed the boat on this one but I will tell you that it's best if you keep the location of the surprise box a secret.   I also try to avoid using it as a reward box too often, but, you know...

So when we just need something new to get us over the midday hump, or the weather is crummy, or a play date gets cancelled, or I'm just feeling particularly generous... I hit the Surprise Box and Huck gets a little pick-me-up and feels extra special that day.  

It's a win-win.

Books I Am Not Currently Reading

Today's post is brought to you by motherhood.  

This is the stack of books that have been sitting on my bedside table for, oh, about 9 months. Give or take. 

Notice how smoooooth and unbroken the spines are.  

In a state that can only be described as denial, I periodically add to the stack.  For example, The Omnivore's Dilemma was perched atop the neglected tower just last week.  A fit of optimism?  

I'm wondering if perhaps some of you with older children would like to read these books and submit a written report to The Toby Show?

500 words or less, please.

File :: Things I never thought I'd say

"Hey!  Don't put your toothbrush on your wiener!  I mean it!"

Homemade Zwieback Toasts

Jemima is teething (nothing poking through yet just torrents of slobber and the low grade fever on and off) and increasingly interested in self-feeding.  The other night I did something I would probably never have done with Huck at 7 months... 

...I gave her a crust of toasted bread.  <scary music>

Of course she went mad for it.  Got me thinking.  I don't need expensive organic barley teething biscuits and specially made zwieback toast sticks and imported rusk (okay, I never bought imported rusks, but I did check them out and covet them).  No, I don't need any of those things.  Because I have this...

Stephen is fond of eating the first bread heel of the loaf, but the heel at the end is usually a little tough after a few days in the bread box so I've been saving them with the intention that when I have a full bag I'll make croutons or breadcrumbs or use them for stuffing or something.

Or, as I'm sure you've surmised by now, I'll make homemade Zwieback Toast for my little teether! 

Turns out it is so easy you're all gonna do a V-8 and wonder why you never did this before.

HOMEMADE ZWIEBACK TOASTS

Use slices or heels of any good, dense, whole grain bread--homemade or store bought.

Cut bread slices into 3/4 to 1 inch by 2-4 inch long "sticks."

Place on baking sheet. 

Put in a cold oven.

Turn oven to 250F degrees and bake for 40 minutes.

They should come out browned, but not burnt, and crisp.

For those of you in the South, I bet you could do it in a toaster oven too so you don't have to have the oven on for that long in the middle of summer. 

REMINDER:  Don't forget that babies under 1 should not be given anything with raw honey in it, even if it's cooked.  I don't mind Jemma getting a little egg in a recipe before she's 1 since my bread only contains a single egg and we have no egg allergies, but if lots of allergies run in your family you should be mindful of that, too. 

And as with ANY solid food given to a baby this young, full supervision is a must. 

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Good Nights

HEY!  YOU!  Jonah Lisa!
Remember this. 
Reread it when times are tough.

Both of my kids are sleeping well right now.  And I need to write about it.  Not to brag or rub it in to anyone who's in sleep hell at the moment (you have my sympathy), but to remind my future self that it is possible. 

At 3 1/2, Huck sleeps from 7:30-8:00pm to 7:00am the next morning.  And he doesn't fight bedtime.  He only wakes up in the middle of the night once every couple of weeks if he has a bad dream or we've messed with his schedule for travel or visitors.  He wakes up happy.

At 7 1/2 months, Jemima goes down easily between 6:30-7:00pm.  She was in bed with me through the night for the first 6 months but after a long, slow (and at times difficult) transition that began with naps, she's in her crib full time now.  She nurses quickly and goes right back down sometime between 11:00pm-12:00am and again sometime after 4:00am.   I bring her down to bed with me at that second early morning feeding and she goes back to sleep until 6:30-7:00am.  She takes two 45 minute to 2 hour naps every day and sometimes squeezes in one more short nap in the late afternoon.  She smiles alot.

I am in heaven right now.   Stephen would say I'm going to jinx it by writing about it but I don't care.  I know it won't last forever and there are definitely sleep struggles ahead with Jemima (she hasn't even started teething yet) but I want to enjoy where I am right now.  And I want to remember that even if it all falls apart for a while, it will come back.  

The best parenting advice I ever got was, "For the first 2 years things will change every 2-4 weeks.  So if everything is horrible, don't get too upset.  It won't last.  But if everything is wonderful, don't get too cocky.  That won't last either."

So Jonah Lisa, when the nights are long and your back aches from walking her, when you're huddled in a twin bed with a frightened boy praying his snuffles don't wake his sister, remember... it won't last.  You will sleep again.  One day.

Freehand

Me cleaning the house with Jemima sleeping in our new carrier. 

Though I'm a second time Mom, I'm sort of a newbie babywearer.

I loved the idea of babywearing even before Huck was born.  It just made sense to me and I had a Maya Ring Sling all lined up and ready to go.   But once he came along, I just didn't really get into it.  It didn't feel comfortable.  There is a learning curve with these things and I never took the time to get good at using it when he was a baby.  And with only one kid I just didn't need my hands free as much.  So I set it aside.  We did use the Baby Bjorn occasionally and got a big Kelty Backpack for long hikes, but we weren't really babywearers by any stretch.

When Jemima came along I found myself really struggling.  With a preschooler and an infant I couldn't get anything done.  Helping Huck dress, playing games with him, making breakfast, lunch, dinner, cleaning, doing laundry.  These things became really difficult to juggle, which led me inexorably back to my early ideas about babywearing.  I did some research, got myself a Moby Wrap and, maybe more importantly, learned to use it properly. 

Huge sigh of relief.

The Moby Wrap was fabulous.  I loved that thing to pieces.  It took a little time to put it on but was worth it for the comfort and flexibility.  I could do just about anything with her in that contraption and felt like I could wear it for hours.  I carried her in it throughout our big road trip.  Unfortunately, once Jemima reached about 15 pounds she started to sag in it, throwing off the center of gravity and making it hard on my back. 

So with renewed confidence, I pulled out my old Maya Ring Sling again and gave it another go.  Lo and behold, I loved it.  Either I was doing something wrong when Huck was an infant or it's just easier in a hip carry than a cradle carry.  I still can't wear it as long as I could wear the Moby because it distributes weight on one shoulder instead of evely across both.  But the upshot is it's fast to put on.  It's perfect for a quick carry when the baby is fussy but I don't plan on wearing her very long.  There were times I just wouldn't mess with the Moby because the effort of getting it on wasn't worth the amount of time I needed to carry her.

I just recently invested in a new carrier to get her on my back now that she's getting bigger.  It's this Freehand Mei Tai (inthe Theresa pattern) and it's wonderful.  Even weight distribution AND quick to put on.  Plus, I can wear it longer.  Even when I've got it on a lttle bit wrong like in the photo above.  I was still figuring it out.

Stephen still likes the Baby Bjorn and carries her in it almost daily and we've got the Kelty for big hikes.

A Moby Wrap, a Maya Sling, a Freehand Mei Tai, a Baby Bjorn and a Kelty Backpack.  It was a rocky start but I guess I'm the babywearer I always intended to be. 

Set a Time Limit on Tantrums

Welcome back to everyone visiting from Parent Hacks!

Huck's been a remarkably tantrum free child.  He seldom throws those horrible, wall-eyed fits.  He's done it about twice in public and, lucky for me, Stephen was at the store with us both times so I was easily able to immediately snatch him up and take him to the car where we waited for Daddy to finish the shopping.  He's under the impression, and rightly so, that public tantrums will be met with immediate removal to the car.  Score one for mom. 

But tantrums at home are different.  For willful misbehavior we've used time outs pretty successfully and he's generally a very obedient kid.  But lately, he will sometimes whine and cry for an extended period about something he wants but cannot have. 

We're doing much better about not getting these moments started to begin with, which is the biggest key in my opinion.  Because once they start, oh boy, he just can't seem to stop himself if he gets ramped up.  I've tried this new method a handful of times over the past couple of months and it's working brilliantly. 

I set a time limit on the tantrum.  I give him ample time to get himself under control first and accept the reality that he's not getting the lollipop, or show, or whatever it is he thinks he must have or else he'll die. And then I say, "Okay, you have five more minutes of crying left and then I expect you to stop." 

I mean hell, when I'm upset I can't always just turn it off like a light switch either, but I can work with a realistic goal in mind. 

I use this Sand Timer.  It has an hour glass with colored sand for 1 minute, 3 minutes and 5 minutes. 

It's both a visual reminder of how much time he has left and a distraction.  So far, it has not failed to help him get his emotions under control quickly.  In the last few days he will even ask for the timer when he's upset.  He seems to like the idea that he can have his big emotions but something besides me (the timer) can dictate when to stop.  I think it he likes the feeling that he's ultimately in control of when exactly he stops.  Of course, I know I am still controlling the situation by using the timer in the first place, but he doesn't really understand it that way.

And please be certain, I would never use this for crying fits related to fear or pain or any real sadness like say over a friend being mean or something.  I just use this for protest and defiance fits over things he can't have or do.  And I only use this method AFTER I've scrolled through the usual techniques--sympathy, distraction, reasoning, then the firm "I'm not discussing this anymore, you need to stop crying about it."  If he's still having a fit about it or continuing to ask for the thing incessantly, he gets a time limit.

Now we all know that not everything works for every kid.  But this is so damn easy, it's worth a try.

ADDED NOTE:  This timer also works great for other more mundane transitions.  You have 5 more minutes to play and then it's time to go to the store, pick up toys, get dressed, whatever.  Gives them time to separate and helps kids too young to tell time SEE the time they have left.

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News Flash!

Having two kids is at least TWICE as hard as having only one kid!

So...um...how come none of you jerks clued me in to that ahead of time? 

Bear with me.  There will be a Nest Cam update tomorrow.

Extra Hand Trick

Do you know what this little gadget is?

It's called a carabiner (cara-BE-ner) and it's a piece of climbing gear.  We live in a climbing mecca so these things are everywhere.  I've recently hit on a great way to use carabiners (aka 'biners or d-rings) as a piece of mommy gear, too.

See, my house is 3 stories, I have a large yard and I am forever leaving the baby monitor behind as I move around the place getting things done.  Nothing annoys me more than getting everything I need down in the basement or out on the patio and them realizing I have to go all the way back upstairs to get the stupid monitor.  Well, no more...

It's the perfect solution for me.  I've started clipping a carabiner to my belt loop when we go on short walks, too.  On a big walk we'll take a small pack, but on a short walk a carabiner gives me a place to hook a water bottle and Huck's ballcap or jacket when he inevitably gets tired of them. 

It's really like having an extra hand, and what mom doesn't need one of those?

And don't worry if you don't live near any mountain cimbing.  Most cities have rock climbing gyms these days so you can find carabiners at almost any sporting goods store.  Lots of people use them as key rings which is another great idea for moms.  That way you can hook your keys to the outside of your purse or diaper bag instead of dropping them into the black hole.

Anyway, hope it helps you like it has me.

Mama's got a brand new bag!

Huck's not the only one sporting a new bag these days.  This was my Mother's Day present from Stephen...

It's a cute little handbag made from the cover of an old book.  It's from a fabulous Etsy shop called A Spoonful of Chocolate Hope.  I would have never known it existed if it weren't for a wonderful Toby Show reader.  Thank you, Dani (and if you haven't checked out Dani's blog, please do so now).  Dani tipped me off to the bag in the comments section, I went to check it out, I loved it, I bookmarked it and I made a mental note to thank Dani and buy the bag.  Those mental notes are tricky.  I'm always losing them in the wash. 

Fortunately, Stephen reads my blog.  When I want to vent about diaper inequality or whiskers on my toothbrush it's unfortunate.  But when he reads the comments, checks out links and buys me stuff my readers find and know I would love, it's very fortunate indeed.

Thanks, honey.