Jonah Lisa Land

Yoga Schmoga

On this, the one year anniversary of the last time I exercised, I thought I'd muse on my shortcomings.

I don't like to workout.  I've tried everything--strength training, running, swimming, biking, downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, I even trained for and completed a triathlon once.  And yes, yoga (see the ticker of shame). 

I have all kinds of workout DVDs, hand weights & bands, unflattering clothing and a giant exercise ball that does nothing but pick up dirt and cat hair.   All acquired in the month of January or immediately proceeding a summer Olympics.

I do alright with anything for a while but I seem to lack the motivation to keep it up.  I have no consistency.

I was blessed with a naturally slim body so I can get away with a lot of inactivity.  I don't look like I need to workout.  But there's more to the benefits of working out than a small waistline.  And I really believe in exercise as a necessity for overall good health.  I would be a healthier person, on the inside.  Mentally, even.  I would be a better example for my child.  And as much as I hate to admit this, it does make me feel better--in a general sort of way, not while I'm actually in the process of the grunting and sweating.  I sleep better, breathe better, stand straighter.  I like my body better when I've got a little muscle tone and nice posture. 

But somehow, none of that is quite enough to get me off my ass.

I just hate doing it. There are a zillion things I would rather do than exercise.  I'd rather clean the fuzzy gunk off the top of the fridge.  I'd rather empty the cat box.

The truly twisted, "cloud-cuckoo land" thing is, I actually think of myself as an active person.  In my mind, I'm the kind of person who does yoga twice a week and takes walks with Huck every morning.  It's like I'm thinking the Minuet in G.  But it's just not reality.  It's self delusion.  My perception of myself and the real me are out of whack.   And I do hate that.  The question is do I hate it enough to get off my ass?   Not sure.  Maybe.  I've always been a fan of a certain amount of self delusion.

Anyway, I'm going to start something new.  We'll see how it goes.  I'm going to try and use some posts from a great blog called Zen Habits as my Guide: How to Make Exercise a Daily Habit and 4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit.  Check it out.  Leo's strategies, how-to's and guides for making your life simpler are really useful and digestible. 

I'm going to start very slow and simple.  I'm going to try to do a couple of basic stretches every day.  5 minutes in the morning.  I'm going to use getting out of bed as my trigger.  I do it every day--not just Monday, Wednesday & Friday (but wouldn't that be great?).  I'm going to use Huck as my workout partner because he seems to have energy and motivation in spades.  And he's a creature of habit so if I get him to stretch with me for a week, he'll start standing at the side of my bed every morning saying "Tretch Mommy, tretch."  Talk about setting myself up, huh?  We'll see how it goes.

If one day you notice a Pilates ticker pop up, you'll know what happened.

"They're organic, Asshole."

Yesterday was a bad day.  Grumpy toddler with a cough and no nap for 2 days, equals grumpy mommy.

No, I am not wearing a bra.  Yes, I am wearing a Cheeto. 

My husband got a huge kick out of this scene.  I only wish he had widened the frame a bit.  You can just see the stack of books on the corner of the couch by Doctors Sears, Brazelton and Weissbluth.  I was desperately trying to find a solution to the nap issue. 

For the record, none of them suggested hooking your kid up to an iPod for a little Mickey Mouse and eating an entire bag of organic cheetos.  That was all me. 

Nobody's perfect.

Premade Lists for the Busy and Anal Retentive

Okay, I made these last week before my death defying trip to the grocery store in the Great Blizzard of 2008, but what with the near death experience and all, the leaking roof, the subsequent discovery of and exhaustive online research into the Evil Ice Dam, sewing all those damn (damn cute, that is) cloth napkins, and totally changing my look, this post just kept getting put off until...today!

Fact A: Weekly meal planning saves me time and money at the grocery store.  Also, my husband gets dinner ready on my 3 work days and a list of the week's meals keeps him from calling me at work and asking what he's supposed to do for dinner. 

Problem A:  I seem to always lose the meal plan sometime in the middle of the week--right around when I return to work and my husband needs it, thus negating much of the benefit of creating a meal plan in the first place since neither of has any short term memory left.

Fact B: Grocery shopping once a week with a comprehensive list saves me time and money at the grocery store.  We live out in the middle of the country and the store is a long drive and closed on Sundays so forgotten items are a royal pain in the ass--not to mention dangerous in certain weather conditions mentioned above.

Problem B:  I'm always rushing around the kitchen on my shopping day trying to make the meal plan and the grocery list so I can get to the store and I invariably forget to put certain things on this list. 

Solution AB: I just spent a small amount of time on the computer making 2 blank, very simple, list templates.  I hope they will bring me more joy than I have ever known before and serve as a catalyst for world peace.

The first template is a Weekly Meal Planner (pdf) that begins on Monday when do my grocery shopping for the next 7 days.  We usually cook early in the week and leave leftovers and meals  or meats out of the freezer for later in the week.  I used some colored paper I had so it will be bright and hard to lose.  I printed 3 lists to a horizontal page and cut them out.

The second template is a  Weekly Grocery List (pdf).  I went through the fridge, freezer and pantry and put everything on the list that we buy weekly or every other week.  The staples, if you will.  I put it in order of the grocery store layout--produce, then meats, then bread, cheese, organics, dairy, dry, frozen, etc.  I also included lots of blank lines where I felt like I'd need them the most for things that go on the list less often.  I don't buy many cleaning and paper products so those will just get added onto the back or in the margins when I need them.  I printed 2 lists to a horizontal page and cut them out.

Then I punched a hole in the top Left corner of both sets of lists and put them all together on piece of ribbon.  I wanted to put them on a metal ring but I tore the house apart and couldn't find one.  The lists will hang on the side of my fridge. 

Mine are pretty work-a-day but if you wanted to go The Full Martha you could use fancy recycled paper, clip art, or rubber stamps to dress them up.

Here are my new lists...

 

      

 

Now my Weekly Meal Planner has a place to live and won't get lost.  And the bulk of my Weekly Grocery List is already finished.  I add to it throughout the week when I run out of something.

On Sunday night I Meal Plan, then I look it my Grocery List, cross off the things I don't need and add a few extra items based on the meal plan.

I'm not usually quite this anal efficient but I really wanted to solve my scramble.

Maybe it'll come in handy for you, too.  And if you like the idea and want to save yourself the time it took me to create them, just email me.  I'd be happy to send you the Word Documents I created and you can modify them to fit your own needs.

2011 UPDATE:  Been using this system for over 3 years now and it has been NO FAIL for me.  I have added one element: On the back of my Grocery List I printed a Health Food Store Grocery List and a place to list Other Errands.  The way our eating habits and schedule have changed over the years has me going to 2 stores now and running my miscellaneous errands all on Monday.  So this list is where I store all that info throughout the week so I have a plan on my big day in town.

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Shake it up!

I have been trying to think of something interesting to say about Valentine's Day all week.  Unfortunately, I don't think I can say it any better than Tracey at Sweetney did here.

Valentine's Day in general just makes me feel like shrugging.  I vacillate between apathy and expectation.  The story of my life in a way--a non-conformist trapped by a conformist upbringing.  Or is it a conformist trapped by a desire to be a non-conformist.  I could probably pay someone a bunch of money to find out.  I'm pretty sure I'm trapped by something.

I like flowers and sweetness as much as the next girl but, for some reason, the notion of it happening on a set day takes all the jazz out of it for me.  It's like telling your husband he better bring you some damn flowers and then...he does.  Big whoop.  So he can follow instructions.  So can my two-year-old and the mutt I got from the pound.

Spontaneous acts of romance just don't have that nasty tinge of requirement.  But then, my husband isn't a "I was just thinking of you today, so I got you something beautiful" kind of guy.  He's more of a "I knew you needed an oil change, so I scheduled it for your day off" kinda guy.  And I usually appreciate that kind of pragmatism, really, but it certainly doesn't make you all wobbly kneed.  So while I really don't like the idea of Valentine's day, I still sort of hope for some small token, even though it doesn't mean much to me.  You know?

But if you let go of the arm-twisting, nonsense of Valentine's Day, where do you get your hit?  What to do about a little romance?  Are we fated to finding statements of undying love in the times they clean up their whiskers after shaving?  Most of us have the romance at the start.  Where does it go?  Does it evaporate? Or just get gobbled up by the dreck that takes precedence day to day?  I'm okay giving up on V-day.  I really am.  But I want something in return.  Something besides him putting his shoes away a couple times a year.

In fact, maybe I just got it.  Stephen sent me an interesting article from The New York Times yesterday called Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples.  You should read it.  The gist is that it's not spending scheduled time together that rejuvenates romance in a long term relationship.  It's not the ubiquitous date night, or even the wilted, annual bouquet from the grocery store.

It's novelty.  Anything new somehow kick starts that dead area of the brain that's so on fire in the early months of a relationship.  That he emailed this article is not lost on me as a romantic act in and of itself, albeit a pragmatic one.  But it's a start.  And if there's something to this, I'm willing to give it a try.

So maybe we should all call it off for today.  Everyone gets a pass on Valentine's Day.  And instead of scrambling for candy and picked over flowers and silly Hallmark cards to show we care because, well, we're supposed to, let's all spend that time planning something totally new for the weekend.

Maybe paint ball, or a couples massage, or a night at the theatre or a comedy show instead of another movie.  Sign up for a class together.  I don't think it's really important that you find something that you both have always been dying to do, just that's it's something neither of you has ever done before and can see yourselves potentially having fun at--even if part of the fun is laughing at the other people there.

Maybe it's all hokum and a box of Russell Stover's will get you through the holiday, but I'm looking for something long term.  Something that doesn't drop its petals by the 15th...or go straight to my hips.

Haircut Update

Well, in case anyone was worried, put your minds at rest. There was no screaming from Huck over my new look.  Frankly, he didn't even notice.  What a typical guy.  He literally didn't even blink so I finally asked him how my new hair looked.  His reply?  The same as always when he talks about my hair, "Orange."  Humph.

Evil ICE DAM Super Villain

What the hell?  Who even knew these things existed?  For my Florida and Texas readers an ice dam is a strip of ice that builds up along the edge of your roof (where you warm state dwellers have your rain gutters).  Icicles form off of them.  I always loved seeing beautiful icicles sparkle off our roof.  I considered them an added feature of our home and have taken pictures of them glistening the sun. 

Who knew they were a sign of impending doom? 

What happens is, heat from your roof slowly melts the 4 feet of snow that's up there from the multiple winter storms.  It melts from the inside out, creating channels of runoff under all the snow.  The water tries to find its way down to the edges of the roof so it can drip off. 

Unfortunately, the Evil Ice Dam Super Villain has formed an impenetrable force field of catastrophe there.  Water is trapped on the roof where it sits, plotting ways to get inside your house and wreak havoc.  It works its way under shingles and searches for any little crack it can find to seep down into your walls and start dripping from your bedroom window, bending the trim and puckering the paint and flooding the electrical socket and soaking the carpet on your side of the bed!

Again, who knew?  Not I. 

So we've been dealing with snow removers this week, who've been beating on the Evil Ice Dams with sledge hammers (seriously--serves them right though, beat the holy fuck out of them I say) and will soon be dealing with home inspectors, insurance agents, contractors and pulled up carpet.  Oh, and big fat bills.  How could I almost forget those?  Fun. 

At least I have a sassy new haircut.  Otherwise I wouldn't be holding it together as well as I am.  What's rotting carpet when you look this cute?

Did I mention I live in paradise?

Foxy Lady

I needed a nice pick-me-up, so.....I chopped all my hair off!   

No, I didn't pull a Britney.  I'm all about DIY and all, but I have no skill or confidence in that department (with the exception of my toddler, but who the hell does he have to impress?).  Plus I could never pull off bald, I have a bumpy head and a long face.  I just really needed a change in my life and since I can't jet to Fiji or replace my entire wardrobe with Eileen Fisher and Hanro, a haircut seemed like the way to go.

Look how long it was!

(it never looked this good on a day to day basis)

When I was acting I used to get my hair cut regularly by a nubile young gay man who called himself Johnny Boy at one of the best salons in New York City, Antonio Prieto.  I paid $125 a pop and that was in the 90s.  Now that I live in the sticks and no one pays money to look at me, I get my $35 haircut at a joint called The Foxy Lady. 

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.  See?

What's even funnier is that Stephen gets his hair cut at The Foxy Lady, too. <snicker> Talk about a guy who's relaxed in his masculinity, huh?  What can I say?  It's a small town and there aren't a ton of choices.  And we love Rachel, the girl who cuts our hair there, so much that we were willing to follow her to a ridiculously named salon when she left her last place.  Believe me, we struggled with the decision.

Here's what she took off...11 1/2 inches!

(nice stains on my car seat)

I'm shipping it to Locks of Love tomorrow.  It's a wonderful organization that makes and donates hairpieces for kids with diseases that have caused them to go bald.  Real human hair wigs can run in the hundreds of dollars.

Alright, alright, I'll stop beating around the bush.  Here's the finished product--a classic bob. 

Sassy, versatile and low-maintenance..me all over!  It feels fun and light!  Stephen loves it (I emailed him iPhone pics), but I wonder what Huck will think. 

My Dad was a hairy, hippie looking guy when I was a child--long, wavy dark hair and a goatee.  However, my parents have long denied the assertion that they were actually hippies on the grounds that they had jobs.  Whatever.  They had super long hair, smoked weed and had black-light posters, you be the judge.  Anyway, one day while I was off at school minding my own business...

my Dad went from this...
...to this.

When he walked in the door after work, I screamed in horror and hid in my room, crying, until dinnertime.  I'm sure it was cathartic for him, for me, it was the end of world.  That short haired dweeb was not my Daddy, and I wanted my Daddy back!  Of course, I got over it. 

Still, let's hope for a better reaction from Huck.  Maybe he'll even learn to say...Foxy!

Pretty Cloth Napkins

Historically, I've been a huge consumer of paper towels.  A loyal Bounty customer (because it really is the quicker picker upper), I would buy them in cruiseliner size bulk packages so I never had to be without a fresh roll when I needed one. I used them for everything--cleaning, drying hands, wiping spills, even as napkins with meals.  But despite how easy and available they are, they create a lot of garbage over the course of a year if you think about it, and I'm really trying to think about those things more. 

Over the past couple of years I've switched over to microfiber cloths and cloth diapers for cleaning.  I also use dishtowels for hand drying and spills now.  But, the paper towels are still featured prominently in my kitchen and we still use them as napkins.  Until now. 

I've had an ongoing project sitting on my dining room table that I finally finished.  A big stack of pretty cloth napkins.

Like the Cloth Coasters I made last month, the Mixy-Matchy Napkins are another project out of Bend-the-Rules Sewing.

I can't recommend this book enough.  There are some really great projects.  If you want to sample what's in there before you buy, visit Amy Karol's Bend-the-Rules-Sewing Flickr Group and take a look at the cool things people have done with her ideas and patterns.  She's also got an awesome blog, Angry Chicken. 

I used up a bunch more of the fat quarters I had around for mine and picked out all fabrics that were floral and cream or yellow based, rather than white based (with a few exceptions).   

It couldn't be any easier.  You just cut, iron a turned edge, fold it once more while you're hemming and you're done.  I didn't even really use her exact dimensions.  Mine are a tad bigger and they aren't even all the exact same size.  You can be very loose with this project and it just adds to the cuteness, in my opinion.  I did twenty.  I wanted enough that I wasn't running out of them every 3 days.  They're lightweight (but very sturdy) so I don't anticipate this creating any extra laundry.

The finished products have a real thrift store, Shabby Chic look, which I love.  They make me want to sip tea and eat little sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

So this stack of cloth napkins lives on our table now (I'm on the make for a nice thrift store basket for them) and we'll be using them instead of endless paper towels. 

Just another great way to reduce waste by going reusable instead of disposable.

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Mah Fridge: Let me show it to you

That's the name of funny, voyeuristic Flickr group started by Sweetney.  Below are the two photos I just posted to it. 

I took the opportunity of having been down to old pickles and applesauce after our trip to finally clean it out--washed the shelves, wiped the gunk off the syrup and jelly jars, and threw out all that really old stuff that you tell yourself doesn't go bad...only when push comes to shove you're scared to actually use it when you need it.  Got any of that?  It was a long overdue chore that I hate doing, but I love having a sparkly fridge.

 

Think there's enough N/A Beer in there?

Poop Talk

Wow.  That blizzard post was LOOOONG.  I just sort of vomited it last night and didn't bother to edit it down.   Needless to say, we're stuck at home today--but at least we have food.  Friday is usually the day we trek over the pass for toddler swim time at the Jackson Rec Center, but that ain't happening.  Making muffins and doing a little sewing instead.  Might even stay in my jammies all day.

Wanted to share this interesting exchange we had during the morning diaper change today. Huck has become very interested in his poop lately.  He wants to know the color every day.

Me: Oh boy.  It's a whopper.
Huck: Brow poop?
Me: Usually, but not today. This is a yellow one.
Huck: Yo poop.
Me: That's right.
Huck: Ghee Poop.
Me: Sometimes.
Huck: Ora Poop.
Me: Yep, you do that one too. It's the carrots.
Huck: Yo poop, ghee poop, ora poop, brow poop.

I fully expected him to continue on this track and tell me about blue poop, pink poop, red poop, etc, but I clearly underestimated him. 

Me: Any more?
Huck: <thinking> Bwak poop!

The boy knows his personal color spectrum.