The time has come.
I'm at the point where I really want my body to be my own. I'm also feeling like I need 100% of my mental capacity these days and, for me, the hormone shifts associated with nursing get in the way of that. So, while I really prefer the idea of child-lead weaning, I'm taking matters into my own hands for the second time around.
With Huck I weaned at 27 months. I was 2 months pregnant and having serious nursing aversion and exhaustion. I took it as a sign from my body that it was time to shift my energy to the new baby. He was already down to twice a day and took the news like a champ. In fact, he was such a big boy that Stephen tells people we just left him a note. I explained things to him and he said okay. He asked for my milk once more, the following day, and when I reminded him that we weren't having mommy milk anymore he said, "Oh, right! I have cold milk in a cup."
So Jemima is 18 months olds and was down to 3 times a day--first thing in the morning, before her nap & before bed. For the last 3 days we've cut down to only the first morning session. Stephen has been putting her to bed at night instead of me and she's done great with the change. We'll wait until the new routine is good and set and then I'll start putting her down again some, too.
She's done so well and my breasts have already adjusted to the once a day nursing (I think), so this morning I told her this was the very last mommy milk. She grinned and nodded her head like a foreigner pretending to understand English. Actually, I know she understands the words, just not the implications of them. It was sad and I tried to really enjoy looking down at her sweet face while she nursed. Grinning while nursing is my all time favorite baby expression.
Tomorrow morning (at 6:30am!) when Stephen goes up to get her, I'll have to jump right up and disrupt the old routine of him bringing her to me for an hour of nursing and snuggling in the big bed. We'll make it back to the snuggling part at some point, but only after she's let go of the expectation to nurse. It'll probably only take a week or so. For her. For me, it will take longer.
For 4 1/2 years I have used nursing to calm, quiet and soothe my kids. It will be hard for me to change my ways. This will be a week of quick reactions and creative solutions and keeping busy and out of the house and not sitting down much when I'm home so she isn't temped to crawl in my lap and ask for it.
We'll make it through of course, and I'm the only one who will remember the tears.
